How Kath and Kim demonstrates the heritability of disordered eating

One of the craziest things about watching media from 20+ years ago is how much of it would absolutely not pass today's standards of political correctness.



The humour of the 2000’s - elite. I don’t think we’ve had any sitcoms in the past 5 years that get anywhere close to being as funny as The Office, The Simpsons, or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. But sometimes when I rewatch these old series, I cringe slightly at the jokes that are just a bit borderline with the sexism, racism or homophobia. 



It’s all about context, though, right? In the 2000s, that kind of humour was mainstream. Does it make it ok? Eh - I think we can all agree that you can’t criticise it too harshly considering the era it was produced, but nowadays, we hopefully know better. 



The 2000’s also had rampant, unapologetic diet culture. Bridget Jones famously stepping on the scales at 136 lbs (61 kgs), with the implication that she was in need of losing weight, likely played a role in millions of women across the world feeling terrible about their bodies. 



I’ve recently been watching Kath and Kim, which, I have to say, might be the funniest show I’ve ever watched. One of the gags, though, is how Kath - a ‘high maintenance’ middle-aged woman, is constantly on her adult daughter, Kim’s, back about her weight and her eating habits. 



‘Kim, you’re going to ruin my wedding!’ She says, regarding the fact that Kim can’t zip up her bridesmaid dress, having recently put on weight after quitting smoking cigarettes. 



At one point in this episode, Kim finally snaps back at her mum for constantly making snide remarks about her weight ever since she was a child. She (in a rather insightful moment) points out that the pressure she was putting on her to be thin resulted in her turning to food to make herself feel better. 



‘What are you saying, Kim? That my belittling has be-bigged you?’



I think that’s exactly what Kim was trying to say!



One of the things that might have gone over our heads if we watched this show 20 years ago when it came out, is that Kath and Kim’s mother-daughter relationship might have been a commentary on how women who centred their lives around their appearance projected their fragility onto other women, and even became neglectful parents because of it.



Kath’s looks are a big part of her identity, with her ‘trimness’ being a major part of that. However, the fact that she is so critical towards Kim reveals that she might be more insecure than she lets on. It could be that Kath is deeply afraid of one day not being perceived as beautiful, so she picks on the one person it’s deemed societally acceptable to bully - her daughter, Kim- as a way to deflect this fear and feel better about herself.



As a result, Kim has developed an armour of aggressive self-assuredness. Kim is grumpy, rude and stroppy - but damn does she know her worth. 



I don’t get the sense that Kim’s weight is something that bothers her, but Kath is determined to make sure it is. This point of tension in their relationship only leads to Kim putting her walls up even more and actively not wanting to change her lifestyle, because - why should she give in to the demands of a mother who keeps trying to hurt her feelings?



I have a lot of conversations with clients who have had parents make comments about their weight or their eating habits since as long as they could remember. Perhaps their parents genuinely thought they were doing something good by their kids, but in the majority of clients who I speak with, it’s quite the opposite. Children getting the sense that they need to restrict their food intake or not eat certain foods predisposes them to disordered eating habits and potentially full blown eating disorders later in life. 



Food becomes simultaneously something we turn to for comfort, as well as something loaded with shame. We’re either scoffing Tiny Teddies while standing in the pantry, or seeing how many days we can eat Celine Cuisine on repeat until we decide to just give up and take up smoking instead. 



There is evidence that the language and actions of our peers and family have a strong influence on our body image and eating behaviours. If you have been teased by peers, or you have a parent who is vocal about their own body dissatisfaction, you become more prone to poor body image and disordered eating yourself. This is known as the Tripartite Model of Body Image and Eating Disturbance, as outlined in this article here



Why is this helpful for us to know about? 



Because if we can identify where our beliefs about food and our bodies come from, we can recognise that those beliefs aren’t rooted in reality, but projection of how somebody else feels about themselves. We can release ourselves from the sense of urgency we might feel to lose weight - because those harsh words that were said to us when we were younger, were never really about us after all. 



It’s also a reminder to be aware of how our language affects those around us. Be mindful of who’s listening when you’re putting down your own body, and teach your kids the importance of not making hurtful comments to other people. 



Journal on this:



What are your current beliefs around how your body is ‘supposed’ to look? Where do you think they came from? 



Once we understand the origin of our unhelpful thought patterns, it empowers us to be able to work through them and create new ones. 



I’d love to hear your thoughts!



That’s it from me,





Lx 



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Is it ‘Food Neutrality’ or just ‘Pro Junk Food’?