How not to diet (when you do want to diet)
In an ideal world, people wouldn’t feel the need to diet.
In an ideal world, we’d inherently understand that our unique genetic makeup also plays a huge role in determining what size we’ll end up as adults, and that someone’s body size isn’t necessarily an indicator of their health, or how active they are, or say anything about what type of person they may be.
We’d understand that diversity in how our bodies look is completely normal, and that there are evolutionary advantages to all body types.
In an ideal world, we’d put an emphasis on the importance of making sure that we’re fed and nourished, so that we can function and feel our best in our day-to-day lives, rather than trying to get by on as little as possible.
We wouldn’t be surrounded by messaging that tells us that we need to shrink - whether that’s before and after images on social media, weight loss advice or seeing Hollywood celebrities become smaller by the day.
In an ideal world, it would be more affordable for people to access and prepare their own meals and to prioritise less-processed foods. It would be easier for people to find spare time to work out, exercise, and prioritise their sleep, rather than making it a luxury only for those who can afford it.
We wouldn’t find ourselves relying on highly processed food, not because we prefer it, but because we are exhausted and burnt out by the demands of work and other pressures, so we simply don’t have the time or energy to prepare our own food all the time.
But we don’t live in an ideal world.
We live in a world that says:
‘Being thin matters more than being healthy’
‘It’s your duty to adhere to unattainable beauty standards your whole life’
‘Eating fast food is a moral failing’
Which means that even if we know these statements aren’t true, the urge to diet never truly leaves for many of us.
It’s such a sticky topic.
Because I can’t say that nobody should ever diet, or that dieting makes everybody miserable.
Many people feel good after dieting. It is quite the confidence boost when people intentionally lose weight and feel they’ve formed some good habits in the process.
I’ve seen it.
For some people, losing weight is life-changing. Genuinely. It gives them so much of their life back. The ability to wear clothes that they like, to stand in photos, and to feel confident in a room of people. For some people, it gives them their health back. Better energy levels. Less joint pain. More mobility. And that is really inspiring.
But what isn’t so great is yo-yo dieting, and the rollercoaster of emotions that correlates with whatever the number on the scales is doing. Weight down = happy, weight up = catastrophic.
The funny thing with yo-yo dieters is that there’s always a stubborn belief that this time will be the last time. Like one day they’ll just stumble across the ideal macronutrient ratio, or the ideal meal plan, and they’ll just follow that and lose weight and stay like that forever. I think that explains why yo-yo dieters have such a fixation on testimonies. They want to know how other people have lost weight, and that’s why every diet book you ever read will have an entire section just on testimonies.
But for every testimony you read about one person’s success with one approach, there’ll be at least 10 other people who’ve tried the exact same thing and had no luck. They’ll be the ones that will be too embarrassed to even mention that they tried, though, because they’ll end up blaming themselves for their own incompetence, rather than the diet itself. We just don’t hear about those people.
Yo-yo dieting has been shown to be worse for metabolic health, in basically every sense - glucose control, lipids, cardiovascular risk, etc., than having an overweight BMI. Yes, you read that correctly. If you’re constantly losing weight, only to gain it back, you’re more at risk of health complications than somebody who’s the same size as you, who hasn’t spent years chronically dieting.
It’s also a strong predictor of poor body image, disordered eating behaviours and mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.
I wish that there was as much emphasis in mainstream media about the health concerns of yo-yo dieting as we have about being overweight.
But we don’t live in an ideal world.
So, what I’ve found is that my role as a nutritionist and personal trainer is morphing towards coaching people who still want to lose weight, and helping them do so without risking a spiral into yo-yo-type behaviours.
I used to think that it would be better if nobody dieted at all, and we all just focused on building healthy habits and making peace with our bodies.
I still think that, but I also accept that’s not our reality.
However, I refuse to be your neighbourhood fat-loss coach, shepherding anyone and everyone towards the body scan machine and circling their body fat percentage with disapproval as if they’re failing a school exam.
Instead, I try to emphasise a set of points that I believe will help people avoid yo-yo dieting behaviours.
You must learn how to eat ‘like a normal person’ before you start a diet. If you only function at extremes, you will not be able to maintain your results. You need to have an idea of how to eat to your hunger signals, and eat enough to fuel your body (without overeating) so that when you stop dieting, you won’t struggle with feeling out of control.
Your diet should always have an endpoint. You can’t just eat in a calorie deficit forever, or keep doing keto forever, unless you’re ok with your body functioning sub-optimally and constantly reaching weight-loss plateaus. I think it’s good to work in 4-12-week spurts and take at least 2 weeks at maintenance in between spurts if you feel you need to repeat the process.
You may need to accept that the size at which your body functions best may not be the same as the size you’d like to be. Yes, even if you were that weight/size before, or even if your goal is supposedly an ‘ideal’ weight for your height, etc. Your body will have its own unique set point based on your age, life stage, and demands. This especially applies to athletes, women who have gone through menopause or given birth, or people who intend to lose a significant amount of weight (20+ kg).
You really need to separate your self-worth from the number on the scales. You’re still allowed to want to lose weight, but you need to diversify the sources of your confidence. Building strength is a good place to start, as it teaches you to appreciate your body for what it can do, rather than how much space it takes up.
Stop thinking in such black-and-white terms about everything. ‘Good’ foods, and ‘bad’ foods, thin = ‘good’, fat = ‘bad’ - it’s all keeping you ingrained in yo-yo dieting mentality. If you can’t keep chocolate in the house without eating it all, or you avoid social occasions because you fear what type of food will be served, you will always find yourself stuck on the rollercoaster of always being ‘on’ or ‘off’ the wagon. Food is just food. When you stop subconsciously moralising every action you take based on its likelihood of causing weight gain, it will, paradoxically, become easier to make eating choices that support your health and make you feel good.
The hardest truth of all is that some people may need to accept that they might not ever be able to diet without triggering some kind of relapse of disordered eating behaviours. And that might mean you may never lose weight. But coming to recognise that doesn’t mean that you’ve failed as a person - it means that you’re prioritising your health and your peace of mind, over trying to fit the mould of societal expectations. Which is incredibly freeing. Coming to this point means that you can spend the rest of your life enjoying a positive relationship with food, never experiencing food guilt or food noise, and being unbothered about what the scales say. It may seem terrifying and unacceptable - but only until you cross that bridge.
You’re not wrong for wanting to diet. But if we can take preventative measures to ensure that you don’t get sucked into a mentality that deprives you of your health (and your sanity), we can at least diet in a way that won’t leave you stuck in a hamster wheel for the rest of your life, trying different starvation-strategies until you find something that works.
The reality is that all diets work, really. I’m usually not fussed about what people choose to do when they are dieting - as long as it’s not something blatantly unhealthy, and as long as they’re not planning to follow said protocol with no planned end date.
It’s largely about shifting the mentality to one that’s more practical and less emotional. And that does require some letting go of this idea of how bodies are ‘supposed’ to look, which is often the most difficult of dieting for a lot of people.
Curious to hear your thoughts.
Have a lovely week,
Lx
